all about the wonder

Occasionally, (very occasionally now that small ones run my life) i have a philosophical moment, a brief period of time where certain incidents coalesce in my brain and lead to reflection.  this last week, i have been thinking about wonder, about awe, about being fully present…and it’s all mr. rogers’ fault.

let me explain.  last week, i did what i usually do on mondays.  i let the kids have lunch in front of a taped rerun of mr. rogers while i ride my bike on the trainer.  it works well for all of us (though less well for the carpet in the den), and i sort of look forward to it.  anyhoo, on that particular episode, mr. r was at a large wild animal park (a really big one, meghann, with 1800 acres in the southern u.s.).  he got to ride out into an enclosure and feed giraffes. so there he is, in the back of a safari truck, offering carrots to the giant and comical giraffes (who grab food with elongated purple tongues, i might add).  And, suddenly, he looks straight into the camera with this look of such unmediated delight that you could see, just briefly, what he must have looked like as an awestruck child.  It struck me as such a brave and lovely thing, that openness to pure joy, that willingness to express his absolute gratitude and sheer happiness that, at 65+, here he was, getting to feed giraffes.

The next night, i was privileged enough to spend an evening listening to Maya Angelou.  As the stories drew to a close, she shared with us the Terance quote, “I am human; therefore, nothing human can be alien to me.”  She went on to point out that this statement does in fact mean what it is often reported to–that any heinous crime is possible by any person.  But, she went on to elaborate that this statement also infers that any positive action is possible.  “I see that person over there giving love,” she said, “so i know it is possible for me to love.  Much more, I see that person receive love, and I know that that is possible.”  Again, i was overwhelmed.  She seemed so completely in awe of those possibilities, so totally thankful for all the positive things humans are capable of.

Where does all this lead me?  Well, i think i’m beginning to believe that wonder is an indication of maturity, and not cynicism, or ironic distance, or self-consciousness, as i think i have always believed.  the notion that i might be fully in a moment, without thought or care for what those around me may think, is a powerful one.  because i think it takes courage to really be, to not strike a mental or emotional pose.  to feel.  to hope.  to suffer.  and, more than most things, i’d like to be like these people i admire–aging with dignity and still chock full of wonder at the universe.